To All Moms of Preemies

Most women become mothers by accident, some by choice, a few by social pressure and a couple by habit.

This year nearly 100,000 women will become mothers of premature children. Did you ever wonder how these mothers are chosen?

Somehow I visualize God hovering over Earth Selecting his instruments for propagation with great care and deliberation.

As he observes, he instructs his angels to take notes in a giant ledger. "Armstrong, Beth, son. Patron Saint, Matthew." "Forrest, Marjorie, daughter. Patron Saint, Celia." "Rutledge, Carrie, twins. Patron Saint...give her Gerard. He's used to profanity."

Finally he passes a name to an angel and smiles. "Give her a premature child." The angel is curious. "Why this one, God? She's so happy."

"Exactly," smiles God. "Could I give a premature child a mother who knows no laughter? That would be cruel."

"But does she have the patience?" asks the angel."I don't want her to have too much patience, or she'll drown in a sea of self-pity and despair. Once the shock and resentment wear off she'll handle it."

"I watched her today. She has that sense of self and independence so rare and so necessary in a mother. You see, the child I'm going to give her has a world of it's own. She has to make it live in her world, and that's not going to be easy."

"But Lord, I don't think she even believes in you." God smiles. "No matter, I can fix that. This one is perfect. She has just enough selfishness."

The angel gasps, "Selfishness? Is that a virtue?"God nods. "If she can't separate herself from the child occasionally, she will never survive.

Yes, here is a woman whom I will bless with a child less than perfect. She doesn't know it yet, but she is to be envied.

She will never take for granted a spoken word. She will never consider a step ordinary.

When her child says momma for the first time, she will be witness to a miracle and know it.

I will permit her to see clearly the things I see--ignorance, cruelty, prejudice--and allow her to rise above them.

She will never be alone. I will be at her side every minute of every day of her life Because she is doing my work as surely as she is here by my side."

"And what about her Patron Saint?" asks the angel, his pen poised in the air.

God smiles. "A mirror will suffice."

Synagis shots and weight gain

The nurse just came to the house to give Kaitlyn and Grayson their Synagis shots

Ready for this?!?!?!

Grayson weighs 14 lbs 14 oz and Kaitlyn weighs 10 lbs 2 oz,

That is a long way from 2 lbs 3 oz and 2 lbs aint it?

6 months old and going strong

Eric Grayson

Katilyn Grace

TOGETHER

Update on Grayson's Upper GI

The doctor's office called and said that everything on the Upper GI looked great. Grayson has no other internal problems besides the reflux. They told us to just keep going with the liquid Prevacid and the cereal in his formula and they will see him next month

Grayson and the Upper GI

He was a little champ. The test itself probably only took about 15 minutes and he did great! He does have Grade 3 reflux but we are waiting to hear from the to see if there are any other problems. The new medication is working great and you can tell that my feels much better.

He and Kaitlyn are both settled in now and doing well.

Preemies and reflux

Grayson has to go in tomorrow to Children's Hospital for an upper GI due to his reflux. My poor little guy.

They told us to be sure to bring a bottle that he likes to eat out of. He has to drink that white chalky stuff. Yuck.

They are still growing

Kaitlyn - My pretty girl

Grayson - My big boy

TOGETHER

New pictures

Smiling at each other

Look at that smile :-)

Prematurity and its affects on the babies

Both Kaitlyn and Grayson were born at low birth weights. Kaitlyn weighed 2 pounds and was 13 1/2 inches long. Grayson weighed 2 pounds 3 ounces and was 13 3/4 inches long.

Kaitlyn had the following issues:

Ventilator, CPAP and Nasal Cannulus due to lungs not being fully developed. Treated with sufacant the day after birth. Had severe apnea and bradycardia spells.
Anemia - had to have many blood transfusions.
PDA - treated with a ligation. Released from cardiologist on 10/31/06
NEC - 1st time had to have an ileostomy. 2nd time treated with antibiotics. Regular check ups with the surgeon
ROP Stage III - treated with antibody injections in her eyes. Monthly check ups with the Retina specialist.
Bilateral Hydronephrosus with Grade II Kidney reflux - treated with antibiotics and regular visits to the urologist.
Broken femur due to calcium deficiency caused by NEC.
Kaitlyn has a flat spot on the right side of her head due to lying on her right side for so long in the NICU.
Kaitlyn had a problem with weight gain due to surgery and NEC.
Synagis shots on a monthly basis during RSV season.

Grayson had the following issues:

Ventilator, CPAP and Nasal Cannulus due to lungs not being fully developed. Treated with sufacant the day after birth. Had severe apnea and bradycardia spells.
Anemia - had to have many blood transfusions.
PDA - treated with endocine to close up PDA. Still seeing cardiologist due to the fact that the PDA is not completely closed yet. Also, had a tiny VSD (hole in heart).
IVH Grade II brain bleed - self corrected.
Grayson is farsighted due to prematurity.
Bilateral Hydronephrosus with Grade II Kidney reflux - treated with antibiotics and regular visits to the urologist.
Grade III Acid Reflux - treated with liquid Prevacid and adding rice cereal to his bottle.

New pictures of the twins

Home, Home, Together at last

Kaitlyn Is Home!!!!!

We went and got her on Wednesday, October 18th. Both my babies are finally home and together. We layed them on the floor together and they both were so happy. They just cooed and smiled at each other.

Grayson's Checkup and Kaitlyn's surgery

Just a quick update on Kaitlyn and Grayson

Grayson weighed 8 pounds, 9.5 oz and was 20.5 inches long at his checkup last week

Kaitlyn came through her surgery like a champ and she is eating like there is no tomorrow. Guess she is scared they might take her food away like has happened to my poor little girl so many times before. She weighs 5 lbs 12 oz and we may get to bring her home by the end of the month.

We have put an offer in on a wonderful home and hope to hear some good news about it this week.

I am back at work now full time until Kaitlyn comes home.

An update on the twins

Things have been wild around here since Grayson has come home.

We sold our house in just 10 days and we have to be out by tomorrow. My mom and I packed all last week and this week and Tuesday the movers came and moved all of our stuff to storage.

Kaitlyn is scheduled for surgery tomorrow for her ostomy takedown , Sept 22 - the same day we close on the sale of the house. I will be at the hospital and DH will be at the lawyer's office.

Another thing that has happened is that I received a call on the 17th that Kaitlyn has a broken femur. It is not just fractured, it is broken in two. She is wearing a splint right now due to her ostomy bag they were unable to put a cast on it. They are planning to reset it tomorrow during the surgery for her ostomy takedown.

Other than all that, things are better. Kaitlyn now weighs 5 lbs 3.5 oz and she is back at Children's Hospital. One week ago Grayson weighed 6 lbs 10 oz and I bet he is over seven pounds now. I will try to post pictures soon.

Kaitlyn's 2nd emergency surgery

Had a scare with Kaitlyn today.

The hopsital called and they were rushing her to emergency surgery. She was having a crying fit when the doctor was working with her leg, trying to resplint it. Somehow she manage to push put 6 inches of her intestine through her ostomy. The surgeon had to cut her open and get the intestine back in there. Everything is still a go for her ostomy takedown on the 22nd.

She is doing fine, however they are giving her a paralytic medication that causes her to be paralyzed so that she cannot do any more damage to herslef. They are also sedating her which means she is pratically in a drug-induced coma.

Grayson is Home

We brought Grayson home Thursday night, August 31st and it has been a whirlwind. I think he slept about 14 minutes Thursday night and maybe 30 minutes Friday night. Last night was muuuucccchhh better.

My is little boy is home. Now, to get Kaitlyn home too.

Urologist

Grayson had to have a renal ultrasound and a VCUG today at Children's Hospital.

The ultrasound was ok, but the VCUG was awful. He screamed so hard for so long that he stopped breathing. It was scary. He is fine now though.

He does have kidney reflux and will be on a low dose of antibiotics to keep him from getting UTI's.

A good day in the NICU

All is well today.

Grayson weighs 5 lbs 1 oz and is taking 60-70 ccs every 3 hours. No heart rate drops and we are now on day 3 of his 5 day countdown.

Kaitlyn weighs 4 lbs 6 oz and she is getting to start eating again today after 10 days with nothing. She is going to start off slow, getting only 5 ccs every 3 hours.

Grayson's countdown and Kaitlyn's ileostomy

Grayson is on his third countdown to coming home posted He starts over today at day 1. He had two bradys yesterday. Dropped his heartrate to 55 and 67. Everyone tells me that he is waiting on Kaitlyn to come home with him.

Kaitlyn is doing better. Hopefully they will start feeding her again tomorrow. Last x-ray was clear with no signs of NEC. As soon as she reaches 5 lbs, she is 4 lbs 2 oz right now, and is on full feeds they will send her back to Children's to have her ileostomy put back together

For those who don't know, an ileostomy is a surgically created opening in the small intestine, usually at the end of the ileum. The intestine is brought through the abdominal wall to form a stoma. Ileostomies may be temporary or permanent, and may involve removal of all or part of the entire colon.She has an ostomy bag over the "stoma" - the intestine which is outside of her body - and her stool goes into this bag. It is really no worse than a dirty diaper.

Kaityln Grace - 4 lbs 2 oz

Eric Grayson - 4 lbs 15 oz

Grayson is not coming home Saturday. The earliest he could come home now would be Monday night. I am sad. :-(

Grayson may not be coming home Saturday. He had a heartrate drop this morning. He dropped from 160 to 55. I will talk to the doctor tomorrow to find out what they decide.

Kaitlyn looked good today. She is such a beautiful little girl. I will try to post more pictures of both of them soon. Her x-ray today was clear. No sign of NEC now!!!!

Good and Bad news

Good News - Grayson is coming home Saturday. This is so awesome

Bad News - Kaitlyn has NEC again. They have stopped feeding her for 10 days and she is back on IV fluids for at least 10 days. She has already been through so much. We have come to far to lose her now. I love you Kaitlyn!!!!

Just wanted to give you an update. The babies are now 10.5 weeks old.

Grayson weighs 4 lbs 7.4 oz and is taking all his feeds by bottle. He is off his amonophylline and was moved to an open crib on Tuesday morning. I have been able to breastfeed him once a day and he is doing great with that.

Kaitlyn is still struggling. They changed her from breastmilk to Pregestimil about a week and a half ago. They seem to think that this will help her gain weight. As of this morning she weighs 3 lbs 5.6 oz. That is down from a high of 3 lbs 7 oz. They are slowly trying to reintroduce her to breastmilk. They have started letting me nurse her once per day with yesterday being the first time. She did great.She is such a little trooper and it breaks my heart to see her struggling like this.

9.5 weeks old today

Grayson weighs 4 lbs this morning and I get to try to breastfeed today

Kaitlyn weighs 2 lbs 15 oz and they are going to try her on a special prescription formula today. She is "dumping" - putting out more than she is taking in right now. They believe that this may be due to her NEC surgery and her ileostomy. Just pray that she starts gaining weight and growing. She has a strong will to survive and she is such a fighter. It hurts me to see her struggle so much.

She was NPO for 3 days and lost a few ounces. Kaitlyn is being fed 10 ccs every 3 hours. How can my baby girl grow like that? She loves her bottle and wolfs it down in just a few minutes. Then she looks around like "where is the rest of it mom?" It just makes me want to cry.

Grayson is getting 35 ccs every 3 hours. He is not too crazy about his bottle but will take it if he has to. The nurses say he has "lazy white boy syndrome". Tomorrow the lactation consultant is coming for his 5 o'clock feed and I am going to try and breastfeed him for the very first time. They took him off his amonophyline as of midnight last night. They say he may be in an open crib by the weekend with a target date of coming home in about 3 or 4 weeks.

I am so worried about Kaitlyn. She has struggled so much since she was born. It scares me, how little she still is.

Kaitlyn's eyes

We spoke with the eye surgeons yesterday afternoon. She has Stage 3 Retinopathy of Prematurity in both eyes and Plus disease.

This is a definition of ROP - Retinopathy of prematurity (ROP) is a potentially blinding eye disorder that primarily affects premature infants weighing about 2¾ pounds (1250 grams) or less that are born before 31 weeks of gestation (A full-term pregnancy has a gestation of 38–42 weeks). The smaller a baby is at birth, the more likely that baby is to develop ROP. This disorder—which usually develops in both eyes—is one of the most common causes of visual loss in childhood and can lead to lifelong vision impairment and blindness. ROP was first diagnosed in 1942.Today, with advances in neonatal care, smaller and more premature infants are being saved. These infants are at a much higher risk for ROP. Not all babies who are premature develop ROP. There are approximately 3.9 million infants born in the U.S. each year; of those, about 28,000 weigh 2¾ pounds or less. About 14,000–16,000 of these infants are affected by some degree of ROP. The disease improves and leaves no permanent damage in milder cases of ROP. About 90 percent of all infants with ROP are in the milder category and do not need treatment. However, infants with more severe disease can develop impaired vision or even blindness.
About 1,100–1,500 infants annually develop ROP that is severe enough to require medical treatment. About 400–600 infants each year in the US become legally blind from ROP.
Stage I — Mildly abnormal blood vessel growth. Many children who develop stage I improve with no treatment and eventually develop normal vision. The disease resolves on its own without further progression.
Stage II — Moderately abnormal blood vessel growth. Many children who develop stage II improve with no treatment and eventually develop normal vision. The disease resolves on its own without further progression.
This is what Kaitlyn has Stage III — Severely abnormal blood vessel growth. The abnormal blood vessels grow toward the center of the eye instead of following their normal growth pattern along the surface of the retina. Some infants who develop stage III improve with no treatment and eventually develop normal vision. However, when infants have a certain degree of Stage III and "plus disease" develops, treatment is considered. "Plus disease" means that the blood vessels of the retina have become enlarged and twisted, indicating a worsening of the disease. Treatment at this point has a good chance of preventing retinal detachment.
Stage IV — Partially detached retina. Traction from the scar produced by bleeding, abnormal vessels pulls the retina away from the wall of the eye.
Stage V — Completely detached retina and the end stage of the disease. If the eye is left alone at this stage, the baby can have severe visual impairment and even blindness

The surgeons are going to perform a new procedure on her where they will inject an "antibody" into her eyes. A week after the procedure they will look at her eyes again to see if the procedure worked. I know that God, our divine healer, has her in his hands.

Eric Grayson
Kaitlyn Grace

Bottle time was last night

I got to give both Kaitlyn and Grayson their bottles last night.

It was a very special time.

Kaitlyn latched on well and drank all 12 ccs that she is supposed to get every 3 hours. She was still sucking when I took the bottle out of her mouth.

Grayson is supposed to get 29 ccs every 3 hours. He took about 10 ccs out of the bottle. He was just not very interested in the bottle. I think he prefers to just have the milk poured into his belly.

Another update posted

Grayson weighs 3 lbs 2 oz and Kaitlyn weighs 2 lbs 10.5 oz -

We are going to try bottle feeding this evening when I get to the hospital. I wanted to try brestfeeding first but we have to try the preemie bottles first. This breast pumping thing is for the birds.

Update on Kaitlyn and Grayson

Time for an update.

Kaitlyn had surgery for NEC (necrotizing entercolitis - an infection of the bowels) on June 1st, 2006 when she was only 6 days old. She has an ileostomy which I hope will be re-connected before she goes home. The surgeon removed 10 centimeters of her small intestine. She lost down to 1 lb 5 oz before she started doing better. I was so afraid that we were going to lose her. She was one sick little girl. She was sent to a children's hospital for the surgery and had to stay there for 5 weeks. She also had a PDA ligation when she was 3.5 weeks old. She is now back at the same hospital with her brother.

The traveling back and forth to Birmingham every day is really starting to wear me down. Especially now that we are going back and forth between two hospitals. It is a 3 1/2 block walk. We walk as to save money on the parking charges.

The twins were in the same nursery for 3 days when Kaitlyn was confirmed with MRSA and sent to the RNICU for the remainder of her hospital stay. MRSA is a staph resistant infection. Kaitlyn is not infected but she is a carrier. We have to gown and glove to go and see her and touch her which really sucks. Kaitlyn also has bilateral hydronephrosus (sp?), which is a problem with her kidneys. After many days on the ventilator, CPAP and nasal canalous she is now breathing room air on her own. As of this morning she is 2 lbs 8.5 oz, OG (Oral gastro tube - a feeding tube that goes down the throat) 23 cc's of breast milk (30 ccs = 1 oz) every 3 hours and doing great!

Grayson was diagnosed with a grade II IVH, VDS and PDA. His PDA was treated with medication. The doctors are not concerned about the IVH as it was small as is the VDS. Grayson also has hydronephrosus. He has more apnea problems than Kaitlyn. The NICU nurses attribute this to "wimpy white boy syndrome". He is breathing own his own at 22% oxygen. As of this morning he is 3 lbs, OG 26 ccs of breast milk every 3 hours and doing great.

7 weeks old today

My "little buddy" Grayson has finally reached 3 lbs "little miss priss" Kaitlyn has finally reached 2.5 lbs

Grayson - 2 lbs 11 oz

Kaitlyn - 2 lbs 6 oz

Kaitlyn and Grayson are back together again

Kaitlyn is back at UAB in the nursery with Grayson. I just spoke with the nurse and my babies are back together!!!!!!

They are both doing well

Kaitlyn is doing well since surgery and Grayson is now in CCN

Kaitlyn's doctor says that she is doing well since her surgery on Tuesday afternoon. She is swollen and still on the vent but he is pleased with her progress. They are going to try and start her feeding tomorrow.

Grayson is now 2 lbs 6.8 oz and he is feeding on 14 cc's every 3 hours. He is in the "CCN" (continuing care nursery) and is breathing on his own.

Just got off the phone with Grayson's doctor and they had to put him back on the ventilator overnight. He was tiring himself out trying to breathe on his own. He is also having to get some more blood this morning.

Kaitlyn had a good night except that they lost the IV in her foot which means another stick for her sometime in the very near future.

How much more can she take????

We just found out today that Kaitlyn will have to have another surgery this week to correct another problem she has. She has a vessel between her lungs and heart that did not close properly and it is allowing blood to leak into her lungs.

I wish the could just cut me open instead of her. She has a bruise right now that covers her entire left forearm where they tried to give her an IV. She is so tiny and having to go through so much. I wish I could do it all for her.

Grayson came off his CPAP this afternoon and is once again breathing on his own. He is now taking 10 cc's of breast milk every 3 hours.

Another update on Kaitlyn and Grayson

Kaitlyn had to go back on the ventilator yesterday. She kept dropping her heart rate and having alot of apnea spells. They had to take off her ostomy bag because it was pulling on her incision and caused her incision to open up. The incision site may be infected but she is already on antibiotics for it. She also had to have her 3rd blood transfusion.

Grayson went back on CPAP, which blows a constant stream of oxygen into his lungs. He has been having alot of heart rate drops and apnea spells also. His lab tests were off so they had to do a lumbar puncture to see if he might have an infection. The prelimenary results showed no infection but we have to wait 24-48 hours to see if something grows in the culture. He also had to have his 3rd blood transufusion.

On a good note, Grayson is up to 2 pounds and is taking 7.5 cc every 3 hours of breast milk.Kaitlyn has gained 2 ounces this week and weighs 1 pound 7 ounces

Quick update on Kaitlyn and Grayson

Things are good today. We have to take it on an hour-by-bour basis.

Kaitlyn is still at Children's Hospital in the NICU and will be there until she is on what they call "full-feed" and gaining weight. We hope to get her back with Grayson within about 3 more weeks. She is off the respirator and on 25% O2 which is very good and on a nasal cannolus. She has not lost any more weight but has not gained any either. She is 1 lb 8 oz.

Grayson is doing good. He is on 27% O2 and breathing on his own. He is taking 1 cc of breast milk through a feeding tube every 3 hours and is tolerating it well. He is up to 1 lb 14 oz. He is still in the NICU At UAB.

They are both still having a lot of apnea spells but they tell us they expect that to happen with preemies.

Another lumbar puncture for both babies

Now Grayson has had to have a another lumbar puncture.Both had to have lumbar punctures right after they were born to check for infection and try to figure out why Kaitlyn's sack ruptured.

Kaitlyn had to have another one on Wednesday. The called at 1:30 am this morning requesting consent for Grayson to have another one also. They are looking for an infection because of his temp and the change in his girth. Right now we are just waiting to hear back from the cultures which could take up to 72 hours.

This has all been overwhelming.

Kaitlyn was transferred to Children's Hospital last night for emergency surgery. She had to have an ileostomy . They removed 10 centimeters of her small intestine. Both babies are doing good this morning.

Daddy got to hold Grayson for about 20 minutes today.

We are home now and I am going to try and get some rest before I totally collapse.

I am out of the hospital

Had to leave Kaitlyn Grace and Eric Grayson. Kaitlyn had a really bad day today.

Early Arrivals

On the evening of May 24th, my due date was not until September 9th, I began to feel slight contractions. I believed these to be Braxton-Hicks contractions. I had already experienced these a few weeks earlier and had spent time in the hospital fetal monitors to verify that everything was ok with the babies. Thursday, May 25th, I went for my regular OB checkup and ultrasound.

All was well and the OB said I would now start seeing her every week. I was 25.5 weeks pregnant.

That night my contractions became worse and I started leaking. I was not sure what it was but after I layed down, the contractions stopped. The next morning, May 26th, 2006 I started feeling the contractions again and leaking more and more. I went to work and called my OB from there. She was out of the office. Her wonderful nurse Crystal had the foresight to send me on to the hospital just be safe. They put me on the fetal monitors and could tell that I was definitely having contractions.

Another OB came in to examine me and I was 3 cm dialated already. She immediately made the nurses turn me up on my head and they began a magnesium drip and also gave me steriods for the babies lungs, just in case. She then told me that I was being transferred to another hospital where they specialized in high-risk pregnancies and neo-natal care.

I called karl and told him that he needed to get to the hospital ASAP. He had our youngest son at the doctor's office 45 minutes away. He made it to the hospital in less than 20 minutes. Within 30 minutes of his arrival at the hospital I was in an ambulance and own my way to another hospital. I began to experience strong back labor. Nurse Catherine, another angel, was with me in the ambulance and she started giving me demarol for the pain. She checked the babies heartbeats every 15 minutes. SHe also kept me sane during the crazy ambulance ride.

We arrived safe and sound at the new hospital. I was scared to death. By now it was lunchtime and I was pretty hungry; not really My whole family was with us and we were wondering what was going on.

Another OB came in to examine me and discovered that I was 4 cms dialted now and Kaitlyn's bag was probably ruptured. No one seemd to know for sure. They brought in the ultrasound and looked at the babies. Both heartbeats were steady and strong, but Kaitlyn's bag was definitely ruptured. Her head was acting as a stopper in my cervix and only allowing a trickle of fluid to seep out. They stopped the magnesium drip and let labor progress.

By 9 pm that evening I was 9 cms dilated. The doctors and nurses beegan to rush around and prepare for something. We were not sure what was going on. Karl asked the nurse what was happening and the doctor turned to him and said. "We are going to have babies. We are going to have to do an emergency c-section now. Or we are going to have two babies born in this little room and it will be like a slip and slide."

Karl ran everyone out of the room and he held my hand and he a prayer for God's will to be done. He asked that God lay his hands on our babies and take care of them in the way that he saw fit. I was so scared that all I could do was cry.

They came back into the room and handed scrubs to Karl and wheeled me away to the delivery room. I just kept asking where my husband was. Karl said there were at least 20 people in the room when he got there. He also said that it was less than 10 minutes from the time he sat down until Kaitlyn was born at 11:29 pm, weighing 2 lbs and she was 13 1/4 inches long. We didn't hear her cry, but we did hear Grayson cry when he was born at 11:30 pm, weighing 2 lbs, 3 oz and he was 13 3/4 inches long. They were both good sized considering that they were born at 25 weeks, 6 days gestation.

They wheeled the babies by in an incubator and all I could see of them were there heads full of hair and their big eyes. My mom and dad got to see them as they wheeled them out of the delivery room and off to the NICU husband got to see both babies about 2 hours after they were born. It was 6 hours before I got to see them in person. However, the sweet nurses in the NICU made pictures of both of them and gave them to Karl to show me when he got back up to my room. And that is the short-story of what happened when Kaitlyn and Grayson decided they wanted to come early